Eternal Marriage

Mormon marriage, or eternal marriage, is confusing to many people.  After all, while most people have public civil marriages held in chapels, Mormons are married in private ceremonies in Mormon temples.  Why would anyone want to do that? 

Mormons do perhaps see marriages differently than anyone else—and although temples are not unique to Mormonism, the ordinances performed inside them are not performed by anyone else.  Marriage is no exception.  Mormon marriages are unique and, in Mormon belief, very holy, as are all things performed in the temple. 

Holy marriages may indeed be somewhat unusual today, when divorces are made casually, sometimes at the first hint of unhappiness.  Even before, marriages may have lasted longer, but could be rather loveless matters.  So how can Mormons think of marriage of anything like holy?

To start with, marriage is ordained and commanded of God.  Here are three quick references for support:  First Corinthians 11:11, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord.” Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.”  Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

But why would marriage be a commandment?  True, we are commanded to “multiply and replenish the earth,” or have children.  And God has said that it is not good that man (and presumably woman) should be alone—so companionship is important.  But Mormons believe that marriage is deeper than that.  One flesh.  We are meant to be together.

And, at that, together forever.  A marriage performed in the Mormon temple is meant to seal man and woman together forever, to be one far beyond the end of their lives.  If the couple are faithful to each other, keeping the promises made to both each other and to God, the marriage cannot be broken.  God is the foundation of eternal marriage.

The promises that a couple make together in a temple marriage are more powerful than promises made in a civil marriage.  You might think that the prospect of marrying someone forever might increase pre-marriage jitters.  And, actually, “Do I want to live with this person forever?” would always be a good question to ask.  Prospective marriage partners aren’t supposed to get married for the sake of getting married—their commitment to each other should be lasting and based on more than just attraction.  They should always keep God in these decisions and confer with Him in prayer at length, to see if it is right.

Of course, an eternal marriage is not free of problems.  The couple will not magically never have disagreements, or even have second thoughts.  Every marriage has rough spots and even eternal marriages can end in divorce.

But because of the strength of the commitments made to have an eternal marriage, a struggling Mormon couple would be especially encouraged to work out the difficulties in other ways.  The husband and wife will have different customs from each other, different backgrounds, different traditions, and finding compromises between differences is often hard.  But compromises can and must be made and most difficulties can be smoothed solved through love and effort.  Marriage should never be broken lightly and God will always help those who earnestly want to find unity.

Through time, devotion, commitment, the initial clashes will become unimportant.  If a problem too serious to overcome shows up in the marriage, such as abuse or infidelity, then the covenants have already been broken.